diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'elisp/erbot/contrib/flame.el')
| -rw-r--r-- | elisp/erbot/contrib/flame.el | 356 |
1 files changed, 356 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/elisp/erbot/contrib/flame.el b/elisp/erbot/contrib/flame.el new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f878891 --- /dev/null +++ b/elisp/erbot/contrib/flame.el @@ -0,0 +1,356 @@ +;;; flame.el --- automatic generation of flamage, as if we needed more + +;;; Author: Ian G. Batten <batten@uk.ac.bham.multics> +;;; Maintainer: Noah Friedman <friedman@splode.com> +;;; Keywords: games + +;;; $Id: flame.el,v 1.1 2004/12/16 01:44:34 mwolson Exp $ + +;;; Commentary: + +;;; "Flame" program. This has a chequered past. +;;; +;;; The original was on a Motorola 286 running Vanilla V.1, +;;; about 2 years ago. It was couched in terms of a yacc (I think) +;;; script. I pulled the data out of it and rewrote it as a piece +;;; of PL/1 on Multics. Now I've moved it into an emacs-lisp +;;; form. If the original author cares to contact me, I'd +;;; be very happy to credit you! +;;; +;;; Ian G. Batten, Batten@uk.ac.bham.multics + +;;; On 1994/01/09, I discovered that rms dropped this file from the Emacs +;;; 19 distribution sometime before 19.7 was released. He made no +;;; ChangeLog entry and didn't keep the source file around (by convention, +;;; we usually renamed files we wanted to keep but not go into official +;;; distributions so that they started with `=', e.g. `=flame.el'). This +;;; is all he had to say about it when I asked: +;;; +;;; I think I decided I was unhappy with the legal papers for it. +;;; Removing it took less time than trying to deal with it +;;; any other way. +;;; +;;; I eventually found it on a backup tape, and I am now independently +;;; maintaining it. +;;; +;;; --Noah + +;;; Code: + +(random t) + +(defvar flame-sentence + '((how can you say that (flame-statement) \?) + (I can\'t believe how (flame-adjective) you are\.) + (only a (flame-der-term) like you would say that (flame-statement) \.) + ((flame-statement) \, huh\?) (so\, (flame-statement) \?) + ((flame-statement) \, right\?) (I mean\, (flame-sentence)) + (don\'t you realise that (flame-statement) \?) + (I firmly believe that (flame-statement) \.) + (let me tell you something\, you (flame-der-term) \, (flame-statement) \.) + (furthermore\, you (flame-der-term) \, (flame-statement) \.) + (I couldn\'t care less about your (flame-thing) \.) + (How can you be so (flame-adjective) \?) + (you make me sick\.) + (it\'s well known that (flame-statement) \.) + ((flame-statement) \.) + (it takes a (flame-group-adj) (flame-der-term) like you to say that (flame-statement) \.) + (I don\'t want to hear about your (flame-thing) \.) + (you\'re always totally wrong\.) + (I\'ve never heard anything as ridiculous as the idea that (flame-statement) \.) + (you must be a real (flame-der-term) to think that (flame-statement) \.) + (you (flame-adjective) (flame-group-adj) (flame-der-term) \!) + (you\'re probably (flame-group-adj) yourself\.) + (you sound like a real (flame-der-term) \.) + (why\, (flame-statement) \!) + (I have many (flame-group-adj) friends\.) + (save the (flame-thing) s\!) (no nukes\!) (ban (flame-thing) s\!) + (I\'ll bet you think that (flame-thing) s are (flame-adjective) \.) + (you know\, (flame-statement) \.) + (your (flame-quality) reminds me of a (flame-thing) \.) + (you have the (flame-quality) of a (flame-der-term) \.) + ((flame-der-term) \!) + ((flame-adjective) (flame-group-adj) (flame-der-term) \!) + (you\'re a typical (flame-group-adj) person\, totally (flame-adjective) \.) + (man\, (flame-sentence)))) + +(defvar flame-sentence-loop (nconc flame-sentence flame-sentence)) + +(defvar flame-quality + '((ignorance) (stupidity) (worthlessness) + (prejudice) (lack of intelligence) (lousiness) + (bad grammar) (lousy spelling) + (lack of common decency) (ugliness) (nastiness) + (subtlety) (dishonesty) ((flame-adjective) (flame-quality)))) + +(defvar flame-quality-loop (nconc flame-quality flame-quality)) + +(defvar flame-adjective + '((ignorant) (crass) (pathetic) (sick) + (bloated) (malignant) (perverted) (sadistic) + (stupid) (unpleasant) (lousy) (abusive) (bad) + (braindamaged) (selfish) (improper) (nasty) + (disgusting) (foul) (intolerable) (primitive) + (depressing) (dumb) (phoney) (boring) + (gratuitous) ((flame-adjective) and (flame-adjective)) + (as (flame-adjective) as a (flame-thing)))) + +(defvar flame-adjective-loop (nconc flame-adjective flame-adjective)) + +(defvar flame-der-term + '(((flame-adjective) (flame-der-term)) (sexist) (fascist) + (weakling) (coward) (beast) (peasant) (racist) + (cretin) (fool) (jerk) (ignoramus) (idiot) + (wanker) (rat) (slimebag) (DAF driver) (quiche-eater) + (Neanderthal) (sadist) (drunk) (capitalist) + (wimp) (dogmatist) (wally) (maniac) (luser) + (whimpering scumbag) (pea brain) (arsehole) + (moron) (goof) (incompetent) (lunkhead) (Nazi) + (SysThug) ((flame-der-term) (flame-der-term)))) + +(defvar flame-der-term-loop (nconc flame-der-term flame-der-term)) + +(defvar flame-thing + '(((flame-adjective) (flame-thing)) (computer) + (Honeywell dps8) (whale) (operation) + (sexist joke) (ten-incher) (dog) (MicroVAX II) + (source license) (real-time clock) + (mental problem) (sexual fantasy) + (venereal disease) (Jewish grandmother) + (cardboard cut-out) (punk haircut) (surfboard) + (system call) (wood-burning stove) + (standard text editor) (processed lunch meat) + (graphics editor) (right wing death squad) + (disease) (vegetable) (religion) (random frob) + (cruise missile) (bug fix) (lawyer) (copyright) + (PAD))) + +(defvar flame-thing-loop (nconc flame-thing flame-thing)) + + +(defvar flame-group-adj + '((gay) (old) (lesbian) (young) (black) + (Polish) ((flame-adjective)) (white) + (mentally retarded) (Nicaraguan) (homosexual) + (dead) (underpriviledged) (religious) + ((flame-thing) \-loving) (feminist) (foreign) + (intellectual) (crazy) (working) (unborn) + (Chinese) (short) ((flame-adjective)) (poor) (rich) + (funny-looking) (Puerto Rican) (Mexican) + (Italian) (communist) (fascist) (Iranian) + (Moonie))) + +(defvar flame-group-adj-loop (nconc flame-group-adj flame-group-adj)) + +(defvar flame-statement + '((your (flame-thing) is great) ((flame-thing) s are fun) + ((flame-person) is a (flame-der-term)) + ((flame-group-adj) people are (flame-adjective)) + (every (flame-group-adj) person is a (flame-der-term)) + (most (flame-group-adj) people have (flame-thing) s) + (all (flame-group-adj) dudes should get (flame-thing) s) + ((flame-person) is (flame-group-adj)) (trees are (flame-adjective)) + (if you\'ve seen one (flame-thing) \, you\'ve seen them all) + (you\'re (flame-group-adj)) (you have a (flame-thing)) + (my (flame-thing) is pretty good) + (the Martians are coming) + (the (flame-paper) is always right) + (just because you read it in the (flame-paper) that doesn\'t mean it\'s true) + ((flame-person) was (flame-group-adj)) + ((flame-person) \'s ghost is living in your (flame-thing)) + (you look like a (flame-thing)) + (the oceans are full of dirty fish) + (people are dying every day) + (a (flame-group-adj) man ain\'t got nothing in the world these days) + (women are inherently superior to men) + (the system staff is fascist) + (there is life after death) + (the world is full of (flame-der-term) s) + (you remind me of (flame-person)) (technology is evil) + ((flame-person) killed (flame-person)) + (the Russians are tapping your phone) + (the Earth is flat) + (it\'s OK to run down (flame-group-adj) people) + (Multics is a really (flame-adjective) operating system) + (the CIA killed (flame-person)) + (the sexual revolution is over) + (Lassie was (flame-group-adj)) + (the (flame-group-adj) people have really got it all together) + (I was (flame-person) in a previous life) + (breathing causes cancer) + (it\'s fun to be really (flame-adjective)) + ((flame-quality) is pretty fun) (you\'re a (flame-der-term)) + (the (flame-group-adj) culture is fascinating) + (when ya gotta go ya gotta go) + ((flame-person) is (flame-adjective)) + ((flame-person) \'s (flame-quality) is (flame-adjective)) + (it\'s a wonderful day) + (everything is really a (flame-thing)) + (there\'s a (flame-thing) in (flame-person) \'s brain) + ((flame-person) is a cool dude) + ((flame-person) is just a figment of your imagination) + (the more (flame-thing) s you have, the better) + (life is a (flame-thing)) (life is (flame-quality)) + ((flame-person) is (flame-adjective)) + ((flame-group-adj) people are all (flame-adjective) (flame-der-term) s) + ((flame-statement) \, and (flame-statement)) + ((flame-statement) \, but (flame-statement)) + (I wish I had a (flame-thing)) + (you should have a (flame-thing)) + (you hope that (flame-statement)) + ((flame-person) is secretly (flame-group-adj)) + (you wish you were (flame-group-adj)) + (you wish you were a (flame-thing)) + (I wish I were a (flame-thing)) + (you think that (flame-statement)) + ((flame-statement) \, because (flame-statement)) + ((flame-group-adj) people don\'t get married to (flame-group-adj) people because (flame-reason)) + ((flame-group-adj) people are all (flame-adjective) because (flame-reason)) + ((flame-group-adj) people are (flame-adjective) \, and (flame-reason)) + (you must be a (flame-adjective) (flame-der-term) to think that (flame-person) said (flame-statement)) + ((flame-group-adj) people are inherently superior to (flame-group-adj) people) + (God is Dead))) + +(defvar flame-statement-loop (nconc flame-statement flame-statement)) + + +(defvar flame-paper + '((Daily Mail) (Daily Express) (Boston Glob) + (Centre Bulletin) (Sun) (Daily Mirror) (Pravda) + (Daily Telegraph) (Beano) (Multics Manual))) + +(defvar flame-paper-loop (nconc flame-paper flame-paper)) + + +(defvar flame-person + '((Reagan) (Ken Thompson) (Dennis Ritchie) + (JFK) (the Pope) (Gadaffi) (Napoleon) + (Karl Marx) (Groucho) (Michael Jackson) + (Caesar) (Nietzsche) (Heidegger) (\"Head-for-the-mountains\" Bush) + (Henry Kissinger) (Nixon) (Castro) (Thatcher) + (Attilla the Hun) (Alaric the Visigoth) (Hitler))) + +(defvar flame-person-loop (nconc flame-person flame-person)) + +(defvar flame-reason + '((they don\'t want their children to grow up to be too lazy to steal) + (they can\'t tell them apart from (flame-group-adj) dudes) + (they\'re too (flame-adjective)) + ((flame-person) wouldn\'t have done it) + (they can\'t spray paint that small) + (they don\'t have (flame-thing) s) (they don\'t know how) + (they can\'t afford (flame-thing) s))) + +(defvar flame-reason-loop (nconc flame-reason flame-reason)) + + +(defmacro flame-define-element (name) + (let ((loop-to-use (intern (concat name "-loop")))) + (` (defun (, (intern name)) nil + (let ((step-forward (% (random) 10))) + (if (< step-forward 0) (setq step-forward (- step-forward))) + (prog1 + (nth step-forward (, loop-to-use)) + (setq (, loop-to-use) (nthcdr (1+ step-forward) (, loop-to-use))))))))) + +(flame-define-element "flame-sentence") +(flame-define-element "flame-quality") +(flame-define-element "flame-adjective") +(flame-define-element "flame-der-term") +(flame-define-element "flame-group-adj") +(flame-define-element "flame-statement") +(flame-define-element "flame-thing") +(flame-define-element "flame-paper") +(flame-define-element "flame-person") +(flame-define-element "flame-reason") + +(defun *flame nil + (flame-expand '(flame-sentence))) + +(defun flame-expand (object) + (cond ((atom object) + object) + (t (mapcar 'flame-expand (funcall (car object)))))) + +(defun flame-flatten (list) + (cond ((atom list) + (list list)) + ((null list)) + (t (apply 'append (mapcar 'flame-flatten list))))) + +;;;###autoload +(defun flame (&optional arg) + "Generate ARG (default 1) sentences of half-crazed gibberish. +If interactive, print the result in a buffer and display it. +Otherwise, just return the result as a string." + (interactive "p") + (or arg (setq arg 1)) + (if (interactive-p) + (let ((w (selected-window))) + (pop-to-buffer (get-buffer-create "*Flame*")) + (goto-char (point-max)) + (insert ?\n) + (flame2 arg) + (select-window w)) + (let (result) + (while (> arg 0) + (setq result (concat result + (flame-string) + (if (= 1 arg) "" "\n"))) + (setq arg (1- arg))) + result))) + +(defun flame2 (arg) + (let ((start (point))) + (flame1 arg) + (fill-region-as-paragraph start (point) t))) + +(defun flame1 (arg) + (cond ((zerop arg) t) + (t (insert (flame-string)) + (flame1 (1- arg))))) + +(defun flame-string () + (concat (flame-sentence-ify + (flame-string-ify + (flame-append-suffixes-hack + (flame-flatten (*flame))))))) + +(defun flame-sentence-ify (string) + (concat (upcase (substring string 0 1)) + (substring string 1 (length string)) + " ")) + +(defun flame-string-ify (list) + (mapconcat + '(lambda (x) + (format "%s" x)) + list + " ")) + +(defun flame-append-suffixes-hack (list) + (cond ((null list) + nil) + ((memq (nth 1 list) + '(\? \. \, s\! \! s \'s \-loving)) + (cons (intern (format "%s%s" (nth 0 list) (nth 1 list))) + (flame-append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 2 list)))) + (t (cons (nth 0 list) + (flame-append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 1 list)))))) + +(defun psychoanalyze-flamer () + "Mr. Angry goes to the analyst." + (interactive) + (doctor) ; start the psychotherapy + (message "") + (switch-to-buffer "*doctor*") + (sit-for 0) + (while (not (input-pending-p)) + (flame2 (if (= (% (random) 2) 0) 2 1)) + (insert "\n") + (sit-for 0) + (doctor-ret-or-read 1))) + +(provide 'flame) + +;;; flame.el ends here |