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diff --git a/elisp/erbot/contrib/haiku.el b/elisp/erbot/contrib/haiku.el new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b66b6d7 --- /dev/null +++ b/elisp/erbot/contrib/haiku.el @@ -0,0 +1,311 @@ +;; haiku.el --- Semi-random haiku generator + +;; Author: Jose E. Marchesi <jemarch@gnu.org> +;; Maintainer: Jose E. Marchesi <jemarch@gnu.org> + +;; This file is not part of GNU Emacs. + +;; This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify +;; it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by +;; the Free Software Foundation; either version 3 of the License, or +;; (at your option) any later version. +;; +;; This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, +;; but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of +;; MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the +;; GNU General Public License for more details. +;; +;; You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License +;; along with GNU Emacs; see the file COPYING. If not, write to the +;; Free Software Foundation, Inc., 51 Franklin Street, Fifth Floor, +;; Boston, MA 02110-1301, USA. + +;;; Commentary: + +;; Haiku generator for erbot. + +;;; Code: + +(setq erbot-haiku-quotes-1 + '( + "The street-smart seamstress " + "The young Russian bride " + "The substitute nurse " + "The Polish waitress " + "The baroness stirs, " + "The long-legged blonde " + "The dish-water blonde " + "The bow-legged midget " + "The busty brunette " + "The divorcee sighs, " + "The arthritic nun " + "The loquacious nurse " + "The hip-sprung school marm " + "The one-eyed baker " + "The plumber's third wife " + "Traffic stills. The maid " + "Clouds form. The pornstar " + "The stewardess coughs, " + "The Swiss bank teller " + "The stripper pauses, " + "The erstwhile diva " + "The languid bar maid " + "The opera singer " + "The zoologist " + "The Czech spinster " + "His virgin great-aunt " + "His neighbor's young wife " + "The banker's mistress " + "The pregnant midwife " + "The devious moll " + "The shy farmer's wife " + "A cornfed she-spy " + "The juice bar clerk's wife " + "One hillbilly tart " + "The one in the skirt " + "The kiwi au pair " + "The lipstick model " + "A lady from Minsk " + "The gal with Shooter " + "The slatternly nurse " + "The B-movie star " + "The heart-broken girl " + "The star-struck waitress " + "The therapist snores, " + "The stewardess drools, " + "The magnateâs mistress " + "The steel baronâs bride " + "The pianistas niece " + "The Russian cellist " + "The poetess gulps, " + "The Slavic wet nurse " + "Filipino Sue " + "Susannah stretches, " + "The wet nurse sniffles, " + "The clarinetist " + "The drunk southern belle " + "The cheer squad reject " + "The home ec teacher " + "The receptionist " + "The paralegal " + "The street-smart fly girl " + "The redhead stretches, " + "The old-fashioned nun " + "The ice cream lady " + "The sullen milkmaid " + "The vain meter maid " + "The fat Dixie Chick " + "The shy cartoonist " + "The sexy bassist " + "The reclusive aunt " + "The sly lunch lady " + "The Czech go-go girl " + "The short cheerleader " + "The chain-smoking niece " + "The Swiss governess " + "The stone-faced matron " + "The suave landlady " + "Traffic slows. The nun " + "Paint dries. The brunette " + "The other woman " + "The anchorwoman " + "The Russian madam " + "His ex-fiancee " + "The young blushing bride " + "The widow-to-be " + "The drunken bridesmaid " + "The groom's ex-wife sneers, " + "The gap-toothed redneck " + "The night-shift seamstress ")) + + +(setq erbot-haiku-quotes-2 + '( + "removes her prosthetic leg. " + "rolls her tongue, trilling râs, lâs. " + "wakes, deflates the air mattress. " + "bathes in warm crocodile tears. " + "motions with her silver thumb. " + "rouges her razorous cheeks. " + "arches her wrist towards the sky. " + "removes her golden fake nose. " + "stands, coins spilling from her ears. " + "removes her prosthetic leg. " + "rolls her tongue, trilling râs, lâs. " + "wakes, deflates the air mattress. " + "bathes in warm crocodile tears. " + "covers her eyes with sack-cloth. " + "blots her dark lipstick, pauses. " + "calmly sets fire to her hair. " + "hangs her slip on the lanyard. " + "greasens the stubborn crank-shaft. " + "polishes the good flatware. " + "whispers the word âwheelbarrowâ. " + "fingers her silver tongue-stud. " + "dreams of monkeys, gibbons, apes. " + "scrubs the tile floor, knees rasping. " + "speaks in tongues, eyelids twitching. " + "retires to the powder room. " + "dips her tongue in peroxide. " + "displays her elegant gams. " + "exhales a plume of wood-smoke. " + "rings the doorbell, rings again. " + "rubs her feet, closes her eyes. " + "shuffles a stack of scratch cards. " + "grins and waves the poking stick. " + "leans toward the caged man-child. " + "rises, but won't run or blink. " + "shouts lies to baldheaded fools. " + "really needs to get kneaded. " + "quickly dons her happy pants. " + "beckons with a pineapple. " + "brandishes a hair curler. " + "plants the pill beneath the sheets. " + "hides the orange behind the stove. " + "tucks the gem beneath her tongue. " + "eats the lottery ticket. " + "fills the sock drawer with mustard. " + "steals the swear jar, hops a train. ")) + +(setq erbot-haiku-quotes-3 + '( + "Boom-shacka-lacka. " + "Thunderous applause. " + "Dogs dance like comets. " + "The sky fills with stars. " + "Retrograde motion. " + "She sells no sea shells. " + "No room in the inn. " + "Dishes dry in sinks. " + "Snow falls in Utah. " + "Sirens wail, so close. " + "He takes a breath, breathes. " + "His heart swells madly. " + "His ears fill with blood. " + "There is always time. " + "All Iâve got is time. " + "You know the story. " + "The drummer skips town. " + "One more cigarette. " + "The ocean shivers. " + "The dormouse quivers. " + "Rain falls on spring leaves. " + "Pizza boy blushes. " + "The cat fiddles on. " + "A new moon blushes. " + "Somewhere a dog howls. " + "Cats rub themselves mad. " + "Soup boils on the stove. " + "The stove eye glows red. " + "The faucet drips, drips. " + "Cars howl on the street. " + "A car backfires, roars. " + "There is never time. " + "The bouilabaisse chills. " + "Ganja cornbread bakes. " + "People smile and cry. " + "Spacious rooms are filled. " + "Unseen lackeys stir. " + "The burnished door shuts. " + "For the last time, why? " + "Why didn't you stay? " + "Why didn't you leave? " + "Where did the time go? " + "My tongue betrays me. " + "My heart betrays me. " + "The night betrays me. " + "I miss you. Love, me. " + "I've got plenty more. " + "No, itâs not like that. " + "Cry uncle for me. " + "Take two steps backwards. " + "Paper beats rock, fool. " + "Hell, maybe. Who knows. " + "Hit me one more time. " + "My dog has no fleas. " + "Is this all there is? " + "No more soup for you. " + "You buy the next round. " + "A round of applause. " + "Contestants titter. " + "He owns no short-shorts. " + "Pat your head thusly. " + "Never with these eyes. " + "Only with these eyes. " + "We've all gone crazy. " + "Hank Williams was right. " + "It's all circular. " + "Everything is wet. " + "Boom-shacka-lacka. " + "Thunderous applause. " + "Dogs dance like comets. " + "The sky fills with stars. " + "Retrograde motion. " + "She sells no sea shells. " + "No room in the inn. " + "Dishes dry in sinks. " + "Snow falls in Utah. " + "Sirens wail, so close. " + "He takes a breath, breathes. " + "His heart swells madly. " + "His ears fill with blood. " + "There is always time. " + "All I've got is time. " + "You know the story. " + "The drummer skips town. " + "One more cigarette. " + "The ocean shivers. " + "The dormouse quivers. " + "Rain falls on spring leaves. " + "Pizza boy blushes. " + "The cat fiddles on. " + "A new moon blushes. " + "Somewhere a dog howls. " + "Cats rub themselves mad. " + "Soup boils on the stove. " + "The stove eye glows red. " + "The faucet drips, drips. " + "Cars howl on the street. " + "A car backfires, roars. " + "There is never time. " + "The bouilabaisse chills. " + "Ganja cornbread bakes. " + "People smile and cry. " + "Spacious rooms are filled. " + "Unseen lackeys stir. " + "The burnished door shuts. " + "For the last time, why? " + "Why didn't you stay? " + "Why didn't you leave? " + "Where did the time go? " + "My tongue betrays me. " + "My heart betrays me. " + "The night betrays me. " + "I miss you. Love, me. " + "Iâve got plenty more. " + "No, itâs not like that. " + "Cry uncle for me. " + "Take two steps backwards. " + "Paper beats rock, fool. " + "Hell, maybe. Who knows. " + "Hit me one more time. " + "My dog has no fleas. " + "Is this all there is? " + "No more soup for you. " + "You buy the next round. " + "A round of applause. " + "Contestants titter. " + "He owns no short-shorts. " + "Pat your head thusly. " + "Never with these eyes. " + "Only with these eyes. " + "We've all gone crazy. " + "Hank Williams was right. " + "It's all circular. ")) + +(defun fs-haiku (&rest args) + "REST: args" + (format "%s\n%s\n%s" + (erbutils-random erbot-haiku-quotes-1) + (erbutils-random erbot-haiku-quotes-2) + (erbutils-random erbot-haiku-quotes-3)))
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